i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
