you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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