Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
