I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
