I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
