Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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