So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
