i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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