Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
