whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
