She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
