wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
