Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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