just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
