If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
