how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
