In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
