guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
