I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
