Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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