I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
