idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
