you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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