Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
