forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
