I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
