dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
