i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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