I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
