i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
