How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
