I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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