Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
