How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
