There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
