just come out here and I will go home with you...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
