Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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