my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
