if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
