ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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