Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
