My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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