why didn't you poke me back
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
