He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
