my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
