...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
