I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
