how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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