Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
