she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
