She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize