just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
