My first STD was from a foam party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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